We are expecting the return of MLB, NBA and NHL in the next month.

Have you ever been in one of those moods when the smallest of things can drive you crazy when watching, listening or reading about a game? If so, welcome to the club.

As these leagues get set to come back, in the wide, and sometimes, not so wonderful of sports, one of my pet peeves is the many “redundant” phrases that should be outlawed, once and for all.

So, sports enthusiasts here’s your “Advance” warning.

Of course, you are about to read my “personal” opinion on this issue, or in other words here is my:

Ridiculous Redundant Rhetoric:

Game times:  How about this traditional one-liner- And tonight’s game will start at 7 “PM”. Thanks for the notice; I would have waited until seven the next morning to watch “tonight’s” game.

Bright Future:  John Doe has a great future “to come”. I would prefer hearing the details of his former future.

Experience: There is no substitute for John Doe’s “past” experience. I wonder what his future experience is.

Work Week:  John Doe is a pleasure to watch “each” and every week.  Well, at least we know he doesn’t take a week off.

Innovations:  You have to give that coach a lot of credit for the team’s “new” innovations. It’s too bad because the old innovations would have been much more creative.

Trades: John Doe was traded for a player to be named “later”. Hello, I didn’t think JD was dealt for a player to be named earlier.

Retirement:  10-year “veteran” forward John Doe retires, or “veteran” forward John Doe retires after 10 seasons. I was sure he was a 10-year rookie.

Size matters: What a package. He is small “in size” but plays with a big heart.

Summer Nights:  The weather for this game won’t be a factor as it’s a gorgeous “summer” night here in the month of July. I sure hope it’s not Christmas with snow on the ground.

Cool winds:  How about this great one, the hitters will be challenged because the wind is “blowing” in from the south making it hard to hit out of the ballpark.  Being raised in Winnipeg, I know better than anyone that all winds do blow.

Gifts:  This one is really humorous, especially when teams are in a promotional mood. The first 1,000 fans (when they come back) in attendance will receive a “free” gift. Wow, just think I am not going to have to pay for the present.

Result:  The “end” result was a six-yard loss on the play. That’s too bad because I was hoping to hear the rear-end result.

Well, folks, it’s now “12” noon, but don’t worry, I hope to return “again” in seven days “time”. That’s my “final” conclusion.

FROM THE QUOTE RACK

Here’s one sports cliché you might not be hearing for a while: “We just wanted to take the crowd out of the game.”

*Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times http://www.seattletimes.com/author/dwight-perry/

Who would be the most appropriate choice to throw out Major League Baseball’s first pitch? I suggest either Dustin Hoffman or Morgan Freeman—the two co-stars of ‘Outbreak.’

*Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

Florida is still telling travellers from New York, New Jersey and Connecticut to quarantine for 14 days. This would kind of be like the Houston Astros making a video telling the rest of baseball not to cheat.

*Comedy writer Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com

That’s how we guard anyway.

*Houston Rockets coach Mike D’Antoni on coaching while physical distancing.

IN CASE, YOU MISSED IT:

A proposed new motto for New York’s NBA team: Flower Power. Makes sense — for decades they’ve played like “beat Knicks.”

*Canadian comedy writer RJ Currie www.Sportsdeke.com

Hartley Miller is the news and sports supervisor and morning news anchor for 94.3 the GOAT and Country 97.
He also is the 94.3 the Goat radio colour commentator for P.G. Cougars home games.
His column appears Fridays on myprincegeorgenow.com.
Send along a quote, note, or anecdote to hmiller@thegoatrocks.ca