With my first column of the New Year, I will see the future without any fear.
To this end I go on a dare and make a dozen 2017 predictions with much loving care.
Although the chances are high there are no guarantees these forecasts will all fly.
Banner winning shirts for sale!:
After his team’s successful playoff run, Prince George Cougars media relations specialist “Dapper” Dan O’Connor, will announce he plans to celebrate by opening a clothing store
on Tabor BVLD.
Bring on Belarus:
The host Cariboo Cougars will win a medal at the 2017 Telus Cup national midget hockey championship in April, but after the tournament coach Trevor Sprague will be heard bellowing, “We want Belarus; We want Belarus.”
Mr Alphabet will have company:
The Prince George Spruce Kings will acquire both a defenceman and a forward that have a longer last name their 18-year-old back-up goalie Aris Anagnostopoulos.
The bright lights:
One of the good guys, UNBC Athletics Sport Information Officer Rich Abney, will receive more T.V. awards, even though he is no longer on television.
More grief for the Leafs:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will miss the playoffs by one point prompting coach Mike Babcock, at his season-ending news conference, to announce that Leafs fans better be prepared because “more pain is coming.”
Torts is out of sorts:
The Columbus Blue Jackets will get knocked out in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs but coach John Tortorella, in a feisty manner, will tell the media his team should be considered champions because they were the only team that did not lose in December.
Young and restless:
Despite missing the playoffs by 25 points, the youngest General Manager in the NHL, 27-year-old John Chayka of the Arizona Coyotes will suggest the future for the Coyotes has never looked so bright. This may be true, providing Arizona gets a G.M. with experience.
On the lighter side:
The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl, but commissioner Roger Goodell will refuse to hand over the Vince Lombardi Trophy because he suspects it weighs six pounds, 15 ounces instead of the standard seven pounds.
Patience is preached:
The Cleveland Browns will double their win total from one in 2016 to two in 2017 and then declare their 60-year-old plan is right on target.
One for the ages:
The Atlanta Braves will acquire 43-year-old outfielder Ichiro Suzuki from the Miami Marlins to complete their youth movement which includes 43-year-old Bartolo Colon and 42-year-old R.A. Dickey at the head of their pitching rotation. The Braves will also sign 54-year-old free agent pitcher Jamie Moyer during their seniors night promotion.
Title hunting:
Kevin Durant will leave Golden State after the Warriors fail to win this year’s NBA
championship. Durant will announce this summer on the Players’ Tribune that he will join LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Show me the money:
Players on the B.C. Lions will get a raise of a whopping 40 cents an hour on September 15, 2017. That’s the day the Provincial minimum wage gets an increase from $10.85 to $11.25.
From the Quote Rack:
The Golf Channel honored Tiger Woods on his 41st birthday by airing a 15-hour marathon on him that chronicled his major championship highlights from the ’97 Masters to the ’08 U.S.Open, plus features on his life. In that case, shouldn’t a couple of episodes from ‘Law and Order ‘SVU’ have been thrown in?
Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California
Fox Sports reports that Chip Kelly, fired as head coach of the San Francisco 49’ers,
wants to remain in professional football. So Chip is open to joining a team in the SEC?
Comedy writer Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com
Happy 2017 Everyone! I see that Donald Trump will be writing his own Inaugural speech…and Mariah Carey will be proof reading it.
Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver http://alwaysfunny.com/
And in case you missed it:
The Browns will lose one home game in 2017 to play an NFL game in England. At first, the team protested, but Cleveland fans insisted.
Comedy writer RJ Currie www.Sportsdeke.com
Hartley Miller is the sports director and morning news anchor for 94.3 the Goat.
He also is the 94.3 radio color commentator for P.G. Cougars home games.
His column appears Fridays on myprincegeorgenow.com.
Send along a quote, note, or anecdote to [email protected]
Follow him on twitter: @Hartley_Miller